He spotted early on that our group are unlikely to turn down food or drink of any description, and he promised us a woodland-inspired feast, starting with a demonstration of water filtration techniques. Now, we’ve drunk in gay bars all our lives where cleaning the pipes clearly isn’t a popular pastime, and have pretty strong constitutions when it comes to supping drinks made from dirty stagnant water. So the sight of a big plastic storage box of sludgy liquid, swimming in leaves, soil and assorted shit gathered up from the ground didn’t faze us, we’ve been served much worse on nights out round Leeds.
Steve gave us a number of gory warnings about severing the arteries leading to our knackers and bleeding out before an ambulance arrived, but he also showed us the safest way to handle a chopper, and most of our intrepid crew busied themselves with cutting firewood and carving various bizarrely shaped kitchen utensils ready for the banquet ahead. Meanwhile, the lazier members, not used to so much fresh air and excitement, retired to the specially erected hammock for a bit of a nap.
Tim, channelling Mary Berry, kneaded up a lovely nettle and melted plastic loaf for us all to enjoy, which we washed down with a hot chocolate brew that had a suspiciously muddy taste. But hey, no one died, and so we can certainly consider the ‘survival’ aspect of the afternoon a roaring success. Loads more photos are available now in the Gallery.
So next on the agenda is to take these new found skills and head off into some woods for an overnight stay, perhaps with a bit of archery or rifle shooting thrown in. Keep your eyes on the website for further details, but if you’d like to register your interest just get in touch through the contact form on the front page and let us know.
For more details of the events and training courses run by Steve, check out his Facebook page. The Yorkshire Bears certainly had a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon and we look forward to getting back to nature again in the very near future.